Hard Lessons

bsdvoostchakrehfd9uioSometimes it’s known when the Universe is speaking to us, other times it’s not as clear as we would like for it to be. We want to hear a clear answer to our questions, and for those of us who are healers, we hope for those answers for those we may be assisting in their healing as well. Focus is everything in our spiritual practices, however, sometimes we as healers take so much time for others, we unintentionally forget to re-charge and re-energize ourselves. We lose focus of what our guides are telling us. This can really take a toll on us as light-workers and healers, and we must keep this thought in the forefront of our practice, otherwise we may get a hard lesson.
One of these lessons came to me yesterday, and the answer came today. For months now meditation has not only been a place of solace for me, but also a place to get answers, especially in nature where I always commune with every living thing hoping for answers. Yesterday, I took the dog out to the park. It was a lovely day, and the smells and sounds of spring were delightful and delicious. I couldn’t wait to get into the woods. I had just taken a video of violets dancing in the spring wind right off the road.  As I turned from taking the video, the dog move forward quickly to explore. When she did my foot was caught in a tree root and took me down hard onto the black top road. I fell on my left side, crashing so hard my head bounced off of the pavement. Being an Aries, my first thought was my head. I reached up; not too bad up there. No blood, no cuts. I then felt an exploding amount of pain in my left hand. I looked down to see a huge piece of skin had been ripped from my knuckle where it had hit the pavement. I sat on the edge of the road and began to cry. The pain was so bad in my hand that it was stinging and burning. I was bleeding and angry. I thought to myself – “My walk is ruined now, I have to go home.” I gathered my thoughts and decided that was not going to happen. Stubbornness kicked in and I headed for the trail. I can just let this blood dry and wash it up when I get home.  As I walked on my whole left side began to ache. My hand was pulsing so hard with pain that I hadn’t noticed my chest hurt. I realized then that when I had fallen, I had crashed into the pavement on my left side. My heart and ribs hurt so bad I could barely stand it, but I walked on until the end of the trail trying to keep my mind on Mother and all her beauty.
I got home, cleaned up and bandaged my hand with a little help from my husband. I decided to take it easy and not go anywhere else. I was too sore to move, much less carry out any of the plans I had for the day. I called my friend Robin Church whom I was supposed to meet for a concert and art exhibit, and I canceled plans with my son and his girl. I lay around on the couch all day and felt extremely uncomfortable, took  an anti-inflammatory and tried to figure out why in the world this would have happened to me. What was the universe trying to tell me?

This is how I think about these things. Nothing is coincidence, every little sign, sound, sight, and/or happening is a lesson you see. I knew there was a lesson. The first thing that came to mind was the root that my foot was caught in. Mother wanted me to know to stay grounded, but to also pay attention. I have not been paying attention to what is important on this path of mine. I have not done all I was told to do a month or so ago. Hanging on to old patterns and old things I need to let go of. The second thing that came to mind was where I was hurt the most. My hand. My left hand, which is my female side. Was it me? Is my feminine medicine being neglected? What does this one mean? What does it all mean? I tried to put it all out of my mind. I slept well considering my pain, but I felt much better this morning than I expected to.
I got a call from my friend Robin this morning. She knew how bad I had felt yesterday and last night, so she called to check in on me. I told her I felt better, and she was happy to hear it. I told her I knew there was a lesson in this and she shared something with me. During her lifetime she has been involved in many car accidents. She shared with me a wonderful talk by a lady that she had heard after one of her accidents that really struck home with me. She said that this lady had shared how sometimes, when we are in an accident, the jarring of our bodies breaks loose that energy that may be stuck and needs to be broken loose in order for us to become free of it. I immediately heard my spirit say – “your heart!”  My heart? Yes…this made complete sense to me immediately. My heart chakra needs healing. Why didn’t I see this? With all the things that have hurt me over the past few years, I am still hanging on to shreds of hope that they may still be able to be a part of my life here in the same form somehow. Let it go. Damn! This is it. This is what you were trying to tell me? My hands are what I work with, and my hand is also injured and hurting now. Ah. How could I be so blind as to think this was going to pass by and not get resolved? I tried to smooth it over and tell myself it was all just in my head. Well, it wasn’t. My spirit guides spoke loud and clear months ago, and I just kept holding on, thinking that maybe it would all resolve itself in the same form and the same place. Nope! It’s clear now that my inability to take their advice was now coming back in full force. Not gently either.
Maybe I need to explain part of this in detail – I love music, and always have. We traveled in our VW bus for years going to shows and festivals, we owned a venue for years, I booked music afterwards, I worked many festivals and had high hopes that I would find my music family and find my place here in the music world. Things didn’t work out with any of it. Not for a lack of experience, but for reasons I still do not understand. I got sick for a while and was unable to do anything. I felt good enough to volunteer and work part-time at one point, but it still never panned out for me.  I am good at everything I do, I know this. I always put my heart and soul into all my projects to make them successful, so I never fully understood how I could have gotten left behind, feeling so brokenhearted and jilted by this world and the work I loved so much.

What I failed to remember and  keep in mind is… that we are not in charge. If I am being told to let go, there IS something better out there for me. So all these months I have been holding on to things that have been holding me back from something amazing. I had clear messages to give up everything from my past, and I have not done so. I have not listened and now, the message just got stronger. Let it go! Mother screamed at me as she grabbed my foot and allowed me to go down. She showed me my own heart ache, stuck because of my stubbornness to let go and allow the new things to come along. She opened my wound for me to see it for what it really is. An opportunity for new things that most certainly will be absolutely beautiful, and everything I need to heal my life.  I have my sound therapy, my spiritual path and am moving forward in that direction, so why am I still focused on the old?

I will, and have to let go now. No matter how bad this will hurt, there is something bright and beautiful on the other side of this. This time, I will allow this healing, and let go of these heartaches and let this healing take place completely. The timing couldn’t be more perfect for this either. The moon, the eclipse, the planetary alignment. Who knows, maybe they knew that my stubborn ass would wait until this time. At any rate, I am ready. Here I go!  I’m ready for my healing. Thank you for the lesson great spirits.

I’m writing this for you, not just myself. Is there something you are holding on to that you need to give up? Maybe, many things? We are living in times of great change. Things are not the same, and they will never stay the same. It’s okay to let go. It’s just not an easy thing to do. Sometimes we think we know what is best, but the universe has other things in mind. Listen in silence and wait. The answers are already there. I hope you find yours, and if you ask, you certainly will.

Love and blessings to all who may read this,



Chakras and Healing – The Third Chakra and Personal Empowerment

manipurachakraToday, I am sick to my stomach. Physical illness is truly related to our spiritual self. Our Chakras are what connects us to our higher selves, and our physical selves. We have seven Chakras. The Solar Plexus Chakra is the third Chakra and also connected to our stomach. It’s Color is Yellow, and it is located from our naval area up to just under our ribs.

The Solar Plexus Chakra is primarily concerned with our sense of self-esteem and personal power. It is where we absorb and assimilate the experiences of the world. It is here that we digest things, , physically, emotionally and mentally. Hence the link between this chakra and the digestive system. The solar plexus chakra is where we begin to develop our concept of self, where we become self-conscious.

Lately, I have not been very good at expressing myself and establishing healthy boundaries when I feel taken advantage of. When this happens to us, we are giving our power away. Not intentionally, however, nonetheless, we are not being assertive, and that has to change in order for us to heal. I am working on this right now. This is how we grow and learn. We have to reflect on why. What are we responsible for in our own lives? What is our role in our own illness or issues, and what are we to learn if nothing happens to teach us?

So what do we do when we feel this way? How can we heal ourselves and teach others how to heal? – First of all,observe when you are with someone, what happens to your solar plexus area. Observe if it becomes tight or uncomfortable; observe the feelings that appear when you are with a certain person. These feelings may be feelings of irritation, resentment, feeling that you feel like a child or feeling that you are terrified of this person. Feelings of powerlessness are all related to this chakra, the chakra of self-esteem.

The reason we feel this way is because this way is because this person has moved into our personal space and triggered the “pain body”. We then allow them to trigger unresolved feelings from our childhood and our past. This is all about us, not them. We are allowing this. They are not causing it. We are somehow still seeking that approval we never got as a child. It could be from our parents, peers, or other people who were in our lives.

When this happens, we need to diagnose ourselves and see how we are interacting with other people. Begin to notice how you respond and look at the language that you use. You need to emphasize to yourself that you do not need this person’s approval and that you can be happy whatever they say about you or to you.

When you are with someone and you notice these feelings coming up, just visualize an energy field around you and say to yourself, “you cannot enter my space without my permission”. This is the beginning of recognizing that you are just as important as the other person is, and that your opinions, your feelings, your beliefs, are just as valuable as theirs are.
Eventually you will come to a point where you can say to the other person, “I acknowledge what you are saying, I do not agree with you, but that is fine, we can happily disagree” and it is not necessary to have an argument.
An argument usually takes place when one person wants to convince another person that their viewpoint is right. When we have good self-esteem we can happily express our opinions and not necessarily want the other person to agree with us.

Sometimes when we are learning about ourselves, it isn’t easy to admit it’s all about our own self-reflection, and self-improvement. The ego wants it to be about the other person. That’s not how we grow. We grow when we self reflect and see our own role in each situation. That’s not always such an easy thing to swallow.

Lesson for the day – Set boundaries, and let go of old hurts and feelings that happened to your inner child. Envision your adult self embracing your child self. Let those things go, and know that now, you are an adult, and you can control things in a loving adult way. These lessons are hard, but they always help us to grow. This is how we heal.

I think I will stay in bed this evening, and contemplate how to heal.


Mercury Retrograde 2014 – Be Prepared



Okay, so you may be dreading this upcoming Mercury Retrograde on February 6, and you have all reasons to, if – you are not ready, and if you don’t get your mind right. You may already have it in your head that it’s going to be rough, but no worries. You may already be feeling the shift coming as well, but hey… We’ve got this.

For those of you who are not familiar with Mercury Retrograde, let’s just give a short synopsis – Mercury is the messenger, and sometimes, when it moves  seemingly backward, or slows down, it causes all kinds of disruptions. It can cause havoc with travel, communications, technology and the timing of anything you may be involved with.  During a retrograde period it is in your best interest to double-check the fine print, postpone major purchases or signing important documents, regularly back up your electronic files and double-check travel arrangements, or for that matter, any arrangements.

This year all the retrogrades happen to being in water signs (Cancer, Scorpio, and Pisces),  and end in air signs (Libra, Aquarius and Gemini).

As retrograde moves into the water signs, it is a good time of think back on some emotional memories, get to the crux of them, and find their true meaning.  Once you dig in and meditate upon this, you will heal these past issues.  You may re-unite with long lost friends, or you may remember lost ideas and motivations. At any rate, this is a time for healing,  getting quiet and reflecting within. By the time it passes into the air signs, you will have your answers.

Make sure you give yourself plenty of time when leaving for appointments or work. Take your time and look out for the other guy.  It wreaks havoc on those who do not understand, and traffic can seem more hectic. There is a lot of miscommunication as well, so please listen, and be still before you speak.

This isn’t the best time to begin a new venture, sign a new contract for a home, or any other major purchases either. They can wait until later this month.

Be extra loving and patient in all relationships as well.  Listen closely to your children, your other half and your friends. This isn’t a good time to overlook anything that might be said. It’s important to review it all, and speak softly.

At times of Mercury retrograde, I like to meditate a lot, stay around the house as much as possible, and love people more than usual.  Now that you may better understand, you can begin to prepare.  Take a deep breath and smile. It’s just a planet moving, and now you know how to handle it. We’ve got this!

Mercury retrograde for 2014:

February 6th – February 28th, Pisces to Aquarius – June 7th to July 2nd, Cancer to Gemini – October 4th to 25th, Scorpio to  Libra


So tell me now – What am I thinking?

Eye of Horus shape in a tree. I really need it that day.

Eye of Horus shape in a tree. I really need it that day.

Sometimes conversations come up about people being intuitive or psychic, and people poke fun at the subject. They think being psychic means that they should be able to walk up to that person and ask them what they are thinking and get an answer.  That really isn’t how it works.

The only way to explain it from personal experience is to say that it is like you are dreaming, and someone is tapping you on the shoulder and telling you something through a sort of mind speak. Those messages can get hung up in your brain like a fishing hook and continue to nag at you for hours. They may become so strong that you feel the need to call the person or message them immediately. You may even begin to send them good energy or, if it is your way, pray for them.  You see, being psychic isn’t a religion based thing.  It is a human thing.  Religion has nothing to do with it. We are all made of vibrational energy that comes and goes.  Back and forth the energy flies around as we put out thoughts, words, and actions into the universe. It’s kind of like Star Wars in a sense; if you can stay with me here.  If we choose to align ourselves with the dark side and throw negative thoughts, words and energy out there, that is what we get back. With so much going on around us, it’s hard to remember this, but just take one day to give it a whirl and watch what happens.

There are so many psychic abilities out there as well. We can have one, just a few, or many. Being an empath is also a psychic ability. This means you are highly sensitive to others feelings or senses. This one is tough. It’s hard to be around anyone you know is lying to you. You just know if they are. I mean without a shadow of a doubt.  You feel when they are sick or hurting or even happy.  It wasn’t until recently that I even knew that this had a name, and this was something I have been gifted with since I was a child.  Here’s a great definition from psychic-junkie.com –   

Empath: A psychic empath (sometimes called a Sensitive) takes on other people’s feelings of pain or pleasure, actually feeling the emotions of others. For a psychic empathy healer it is an ability that can help in relating the symptoms and cause of a client’s ailment. However many empaths would rather not have this sensitivity as they can experience life as an emotional roller coaster when in the midst of emotionally high people. Shopping malls can be quite traumatic for these sensitives.”

Another eye in a tree.

Another eye in a tree.

Sometimes we can also get messages through things we see and hear around us. It’s hard to tell when and how these things can manifest themselves. It can happen while you sleep, or while you are awake. Anything around you can be a sign. For the longest time, I asked to see what it was I needed to know or hear. For some reason now, I see eyes in a lot in things. The first time it happened, it came in the form of the ‘Eye of Horus’ in a tree.  I snapped a photo of a tree, and didn’t notice it until later while I was editing the photo. The Eye of Horus stands for protection. Every time I see an eye in something now, I see it as a sign from the universe that we are being protected.  I snapped another one yesterday. I have posted them both above for your to see. This is just one example. This can be songs, things people say, or things you may get from a poem. It all depends on your surroundings. Getting in touch with them is your first step. Sitting in the quiet is another way you can get in touch with your surroundings in any setting. Also, be quiet when you are out and just observe people and things. You will be surprised how much you can pick up on that others will not. It’s really that simple.

Just try to get in touch with your own intuition. Yes, that is a psychic ability, and we all have that. Always follow your gut!  Those gut feelings are always there to guide and protect us. Just make sure you take time to meditate, cleanse and shield yourself.  If you don’t know about those things, you can do your own research on Google. There are many ways of doing this, but we can work on those things another day.

For now remember this, just because you have never experienced something yourself, doesn’t mean it doesn’t or never happened. Things happen around us all the time that we do not see. Pay attention and sooner or later you will see.  All we can do is try to understand those we do not understand.  Maybe this will help someone understand.  Those of us that do have these abilities just want to try to understand them ourselves, and use them for good wherever and whenever we can. We are just open to seeing the world a little differently.  Hope you have a better understanding now. We are just getting started.

Have a wonderful day.

Get Back On Track and Breathe


Relax and breathe

Focus, and the breath kept coming up this morning. It’s easy to see why, when all morning there were also signs of low vibrations in all conversations. The connections we have, the way we humans think. It all causes a reaction. A chain of reactions, that most of the time we aren’t even aware of.

Where do focus and the breath come together? Let’s take a look and see.

An observation of conversations from the last few weeks and days has led to an unsettling amount of chaos amongst quite a few people in this circle of friends and loved ones. People make statements claiming something, then turn around and say the complete opposite, and do things that make those observing, just shake their heads, question their validity as a teacher or expert in their field, and maybe even walk away. Especially when it comes to business. We must be consistent in our focus and in our goals. When you are all over the place and chaotic, it’s hard for others to take you seriously. And yes, we need to be taken seriously. Life is serious business.

As a former successful business owner for seven years, it’s easy to see how people get easily distracted by their competitors, their failures, and other things that come up everyday, and lose their focus. This is no different in our spiritual life. We see someone doing better than us, and maybe working with other folks when they said they wanted to work with us. Or maybe we think they are more spiritual than we are. Maybe they are working with other people, or, they seem like they may be too busy to chat with us. Well, they are focusing on their own path and journey. It really doesn’t matter, and that shouldn’t be our focus. The universe wants us all to be successful, so no need to get bent out of shape. How can you stay on track and stay focused?

Build a Vision Board – This can be as big or as small as you want it to be. You can cut out or draw pictures of your dreams and inspirations, write down your ultimate goals and display it where you will see it everyday to stay focused

1. Choose specific goals and stick to them – These might be spiritual, financial; or maybe health related, learning a new language or a specific trade or other new skill. It can be anything. Never limit yourself. You’ve got this! Now take a deep breath. I mean literally speaking. Take a deeep breath.

2.  Make it your own – Find pictures of things associated with your goals. If you are wanting to manifest something, find a photo associated with that particular goal or thing and place it on your board. Write your goals next to the photos. You can always do a Google search on vision boards and take ideas from others. This will help you to build your board specific to your goals, but also allow you to brainstorm on some of your own. Take another deep breath.

3.  Keep it positive – Make sure you use positive pictures and words to put on your board and look at it everyday, with those words in mind. Examples are – growth, successful, happy, inspire, healthy, joy, peaceful, etc. Are you ready? Take another deep breath.

4.  Stay focused on you. When you compare yourself with others, that is when you lose your true focus. This isn’t about how much others are doing and where they are in comparison to you. You are the focus. This is about you, and when you start to compare, you forget your ultimate goals. Again…take a deep breath.

5.  Look at your board everyday. Make sure you keep those things as your focus and stay on track. Stay on the path to the goals you made, and remember to update the details to get to those ultimate goals. This board is your plan to reach them, so the more you look at it, the more you will find ways to reach those specific goals. Yes…let’s do it again. Take that breath.

6.  Be happy where you are right now. Take a deep breath every chance you get, and make that a goal as well. We humans breath approximately 1200 to 1700 breaths a day, however, we take that for granted, and we also hold our breath a lot. Focus on the breath today as well. This is the most important focus. You might want to find the word breath or breathe and put it on your board. It will keep you aware and focused as well, and can be a reminder that we do take advantage of the breath, and when we think about this, we realize how carried away and anxious we allow ourselves to become over things we have zero control over.

Now go, and have a lovely weekend.

Happy Deep Breathing!

Love and Light,


Social Media and Spiritual Life


“Social Media can be very disconcerting for those of us who are trying to wake up and seek a higher existence.”

This is the very reason for my frustration with social media as of late. The above statement, could, believe it or not,  bring up anger, resentment, jealousy, and all kinds of feelings for some. They may look into a statement as being smug or thinking this means we think we may be  better than others. Not at all. We are simply striving to be the best person we can be. But some may read into our words, thinking we are saying something we are not.

We all read things differently when they are typed or written than we do in person. Of course! If you are unable to see someone’s expressions and body language, this false perception based on our mood or how we might perceive it, can stir up unpleasant feelings for some who are already feeling down. Sad, but so true. I have seen this happen all too often. With this being a component of the social media conversation, we really have a hard time being mindful of our posts, which I am beginning to see causing a plethora of miscommunications between  a lot of us. We have to find a way to make this work. We are inevitably evolving in our technological communications.

So, how do we protect ourselves from these feelings and issues without seemingly coming off as snobby or careless, or unloving? It’s very hard as spiritual beings to decide how to do this. Of course, there’s also this -Not everyone wants to be a spiritual being. Not everyone wants to hear about spirituality or what others have to say about it.

There is also the aspect of reassuring our personal space. Most of us like to keep our personal life just that – personal. If you look at your friends list right now, you may, like me, have thousands of friends on your social media whom you don’t know very well. Some, you have had conversations with in real life. Others, you haven’t even met, so you less than likely have any personal interaction with them. Believe it or not, you may be safer with them. It all depends on your personal history with each person, and how and why you choose a particular form of social media for communicating.

I am not a person who will share my most personal information with others, (especially my relationship) unless I find it to be spiritually uplifting, or a lesson I may have taken from a current situation, that could assist others going through something similar.  Others like to let it all hang out, and that is okay, again – it’s your personal choice to do so.

What if you are an empath, clairvoyant, psychic, or clairaudient, and you feel overwhelmed by the chatter? You just know from your feelings that something isn’t safe for you, or for others. Then don’t open that can of worms. Listen to your intuition.

So let’s look at this and deconstruct it to suit our individual needs.

There are many ways we can go about making your social media space safe and healthy for us.

1.)  When you have 2,000+ friends, you can always take the time to delete some of them. Some people may get hurt by this, and if they do, simply explain that it isn’t personal, but if they never hit ‘like’ or converse with you, what’s the reason you may be friends on social media and not in real life? Social media isn’t real life.  You know who you interact with on a regular basis, so that’s how to gauge it. If someone asks to be back in your facebook friends, give it another try. Maybe they look to you for guidance or positive input. That’s what we want, is to help others who may need it.

2.)  There is a button you can click on before you make a post on facebook that allows who can see your post. You can even make certain lists and categories to put people in. e.g. -If you like to debate politics, and you know of others that can civilly debate as well, only post for them. It’s okay to place boundaries for yourself and make them for others who aren’t into certain conversations. There’s a reason it’s set up this way. We need to go with the changes and learn to utilize this particular option.

3.)  Don’t post something if you tried once and it didn’t post. That’s pretty much a sign you shouldn’t post it. Take my word on this. It’s a fact. As fate would have it, it usually means something.

4.)  If it isn’t appropriate conversation for everyone, you know who can handle it, or not; keep it between you in chat, unless you just don’t care who might be watching. Think of your family and your career choices for the future. That’s a fact as well. You never know who might be watching. If you don’t care, no sweat. On with the ruckus! But remember who might see it, and remember, if you are a light-worker, you are an example to others.

5.) Don’t discuss things that may cause drama, in any sense. If you think your post may stir up an argument, don’t post it.  Sometimes it’s best to use private message, or chat, or just make a phone call and talk to a close friend. Pay attention to your gut feelings here. It’s best to be as mindful as possible.

6.)  You can un-follow conversations, and people. You don’t have to keep them in your feed. Hover over the arrow to the right of their post,  hit hide all of their posts. It may take a while to do this, but you will feel better when you organize it a bit better. You don’t have to unfriend everyone just to stop seeing their posts. You can un-follow individual posts as well. It just depends. Remember, this is your page.

7.)  Take a break from social media, or limit your time there. This can make a huge difference in your life and head-space. Once you are away for a few days, you realize you need less time there. unless it’s part of your job.

Whatever you choose to do, remember, to be the best person YOU can be and keep the chatter to a minimum. It will make you feel a lot better to know your way around and keep it a safe and happy virtual space for everyone.

Have a happy virtual space day.


My Love-Hate Relationship with Facebook


I  have a love-hate relationship with facebook. It really blows my mind the obviousness of facebook relationships vs real life relationships, and how people make themselves obvious on facebook, just as much or more so than in real life sometimes.

I heard some local D.J.’s discussing the different aspects of facebook and how we choose to use it. Of course I agreed and disagreed with the varying opinions, but one thing is for sure; we all have different reasons why we partake in it, at any given time. Some of us use it as a scrapbook of our lives, or to vent, or to try to keep ourselves on track. But yeah, maybe some people use it for social climbing and/or bragging, to make others think better of us, or just for some attention.

So…why? Why do we care what others think about us? Do we feel we have to? I use to care. It bothered me, and made me feel so sad. I voiced things I shouldn’t have. I was passive aggressive about things I was angry about. I even called people out on facebook, (which is really a bad idea, even if you are right). It’s just a bad place to try to work things out with others. As of late, I have been pulling myself away from all of that, and it feels fucking amazing and freeing. I question whether I even want to keep my profile, but I love posting pictures, knowing they will always be there. That, and looking back on things I posted to watch my own growth.

After going to a party with my husband last night, I realized how much more in tune I have become to what people are thinking and what their intentions are, whether they are even conscious of them or not,  I just know what they are thinking sometimes. This means, I can tell if they are being genuine, vying for attention, or being mean to someone, and yes, even lying or making something up. Not just in their presence, but on facebook as well.  Don’t worry, this isn’t about you. It’s about me. It freaks me the FUCK. OUT.

I love everyone, and I have tried like hell to become as aware as I can of my own words, and actions and reactions as of late. I catch myself in a conversation about someone that just did something really fucked up, and even if I don’t care for their actions, I feel bad for them. They are of course on their own path, and yes, sometimes they fuck up. So do I. So do we all. But that doesn’t mean I should be partaking in conversations about people, and I need to stop it, as of NOW. It seems like I notice doing it with just certain people. WE all need to stop that. It makes me feel uncomfortable, and bad inside. That’s all that matters to me right now. I don’t care what any of you think anymore. This is about me. Yes, that’s what I said. This is ABOUT. ME. My spiritual path, my wayward actions. If you feel bad while reading my own bitch session about me, that’s your problem. I love you, but get over yourself.

You may think I am judging you right now, but I am judging ME. I am angry with myself, for allowing myself to be out of control, careless, and judgmental. I told my husband this morning, I am becoming more aware, and in the chaos of my own thoughts, I use mediation on the weirdest things, and at the strangest times, to take back control of my own misguided thoughts. So, this is what I do. I will be somewhere, catch myself judging what someone is thinking, and it literally makes me feel like I have to go home. It feels like facebook, only in real life.

I am writing this for me, but I am also hoping that maybe people will read it and understand that all of our actions create reactions. Whether we as humans realize it or not, when we alienate people – we create negative situations. When we interrupt them while they are speaking – it removes them from their personal connections and makes them feel alienated and worthless. When we start talking about how important we are, or project our cliquish attitude with our circle of “important” friends, we are leaving people out. I hate it! I literally feel sick when I see it happening. And, whenever I go out in public, it’s inevitably taking place. What to do, except remove myself from the situation? I still don’t know.

It’s absolutely stupid the reasons we humans see one human to be more important or worthy of love and attention than another human. We all put our pants on the same, wipe our ass; piss, shit and inevitably, we all. die. in the end. It seems as though ,what a lot of people strive for, is attention or at the least approval. I understand wanting to be loved, but what about giving everyone our love. Ignoring certain people that would normally talk to in real life just isn’t cool. It’s not cool to do this at all.  It’s hurtful.

This is where facebook comes in. Why? Why do we hit the like button on some posts, and completely ignore other people that we talk to in real life? Why do we have friends that we don’t know, or have never met in real time, yet we try to impress them? Why do we ignore people day to day, yet keep them as friends on our facebook page? It makes me wonder if this isn’t what is creating grave miscommunications and discourse within the human race. Are we watching them and judging them? Yes, I see it and hear about it all the time. I am just listening to what everyone else says in conversation. Remember that. But, I am truly questioning all of this interaction now? How did we evolve into this? Why is social media so important. Why does anyone take facebook at face value? This isn’t real people! Or, is it? I guess it just depends on each individual mindset. We choose to write a note on facebook, or a text, than to pick up the phone and call them. We have a plethora of “friends” on facebook, and these people are free to come here and judge each other, watch each other, talk bad about others, or make fun of things we don’t care for or agree with. We can show everyone the face we want them to see, and not who we really are. We can post things that we feel might help others while helping ourselves, or be a total asshole; but inevitably, why are we really doing all of this? That is what I am asking myself.  Where do I draw the line? Why am I really here? Maybe you think this is stupid, , or maybe you’ve gotten this far into what I am writing here, because you know what I am getting at. You may be struggling with this topic as well.

So, here’s where I’m at with this. I now vow – To take more time for myself, my home, my close friends, and my loved ones, in real life instead of facebook. To take more time to breathe, to meditate and to find more inner peace. To give myself more time to fit those people in that no one cares to talk to. The other socially awkward folks, like myself. I want to get to know them too.  To post more about why I am posting something; or to just make it clear, that it’s really about me, not someone else. To be a more mindful social media poster and a more mindful human being, when it comes to human interactions.

You may think I am a narcissist for posting all these things about me. But guess what. This is about all of US. Because in reality, I am really all of YOU. WE are all the same. Just humans being human. Humans making mistakes. Humans starting all over, every day. What we do and say, is what we cause. and. affect. I just had to remind myself to pay attention, today, and every day.

Thanks for reading.

Drawing Strength

Life has many chapters and many hurdles. None of them are easy to work through, especially on knowing what we are to learn from each one. In the end, isn’t that our ultimate goal? What we take from each experience furthers our spiritual and our life growth. We may be asking ourselves that very question today. Why is this happening to me?  What is the best way for me to deal with this, and what am I supposed to take from it? Or just, a general -WHY?

We all have our own ways of dealing with life issues. Some of you may pray, meditate, exercise, or even medicate. You may go to a therapist to talk it all out, or you may use creative outlets to cope. All of these things help, and whatever works best for you is always advised.  No two people are alike in their journey. I personally use meditation, yoga, and enjoy reading and using music to soothe my hurts. I also love to work with tarot cards. I put them away for some time, but now I am once again delving into the oracles for additional guidance. I decided with both of my decks, I can pick whichever one feels like the right one for that particular day, and meditate on what I might be guided to do.

Today, I chose my Faeries Oracle, shuffled and cut my deck and chose – “Himself”.  I like to read the card, meditate on what I am picking up on from it, and then read the meaning from the oracle book. The first thing I got today from ‘Himself’ was that this had something to do with inner work, and growth.

Once inside the book, I began to read all about the meaning of this beautiful card. My own general interpretation, paired with the true meaning unfolded. I wanted to share it, and my thoughts on it. I’m sure so many of us need to be encouraged by Himself, today.

Card 17 – Himself

Natural Law. Life Force. Magic. Shamanic Power

This is a shortened version from the book, but I focused on the highlights to bring the most important topics to light.

“Himself understands the many necessary balances of nature. The living bond between all life. He is the great Father, like Earth is the great Mother. He is the energy of balance and grounding. He represents the great circle of life, and death. Beginnings, and endings. 

His energy is channeled through humans to benefit tribe, and family. His family is all of us, human and animal.  Healers channel a balance between his power, and the bright Mother’s nurturing energy. 

Even as our hearts beat within us, we learn to meditate the life force through joyful being and action. Expressing his power through healing and love and trust, we become more like Himself.

Himself speaks of protection, either of the querent, or of someone the querent owes protection to, like a child or an elder. Acceptance of paternal responsibility is important, as are deep and committed relationships. He is the preserver of the natural world and its balances.

Shamanic power may be indicated here, as well as a potential for powerful spiritual healing.

All of us have family, either chosen or by birth. We therefore always have the variety of dynamics that come with family and relationships. They come and go like the circle of life. Beginnings, and endings. Change is not only inevitable, but is always an opportunity for us to learn. To grow and choose our greater path, or to freeze ourselves in confusion, not understanding why or what we are supposed to take from each life lesson.

Today, after getting this message from my reading, I had to meet with an intake nurse for my aging and sick Mother for home healthcare. It gave me strength and patience to deal with the uncertainty, the heartbreak, and the changes that this may bring. I feel blessed to know, that no matter what happens in the future, I can draw strength from those around me that I call family. I can choose to continue to grow spiritually, whatever my beliefs may be. We can all choose to gather strength from our lessons.  We all have the same opportunities to learn from our mistakes, and observe others and learn from them as well. Hopefully, we can all become stronger and learn to not only love ourselves, but channel that love outward for universal consciousness and growth.

The last thing I wanted to share, was nowhere in the book. I picked up on it tonight as I was writing this entry. I was looking at how beautiful this card itself is. The artwork is so beautiful.  My eyes were drawn to his eyes, and how they seemed to look right through me. Then, I also noticed a crown of light on his head. I noticed his crown chakra, his third eye, and his heart chakra all glowing with pure white light. Immediately, I heard the word “awakening” pop into my head. I nearly burst into tears with happiness.  It may sound cliche, but we are in the midst of a mass awakening.  All you have to do is open your eyes, look around, and listen.  Breathe deep, and take it all in. Let the dark parts go. Keep the light glowing within. Open your heart…and GROW.

I hope you are all touched in some way by this entry. If you are, please share it with someone. You never know who you may touch with your positive light.